How to Get From A to Z
by piecesofflair
Summary: When Alex hits a bump in the road, she goes to her partner for support. But things turn into more than they planned them to be...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Thanks go out to my beta, The Confused One, for helping me out with this.

**Disclaimer:** Don't sue, none of this stuff belongs to me. (But wouldn't it be great if it did?)

**Warning:** Genre subject to change as the story progresses.

* * *

If you asked the people who knew her to describe Alex Eames, they would all say pretty much the same thing. Tough. Smart. Strong. Funny. Loyal. Brave. All the qualities you'd expect from someone who'd become a cop, lost her husband, carried her sister's child, and stuck with Goren.

They would also tell you that she was definitely _not_ the kind of person who would take crap from anyone.

Which was why it was such an odd sight when she came into work with a look on her face of pure contempt for the rest of humanity on what was otherwise an ordinary Friday morning. Her eyebrows were slanted downward in an expression that clearly told everyone who saw it to back off _now_, before someone got hurt. She tossed her empty Starbucks cup into the trash and let herself fall into her chair across from her partner with an unceremonious thump.

Even without the more obvious physical signs, Bobby would've been able to immediately tell that something was wrong. After nearly six years of working together, he had an uncanny way of reading her every move. Leaning back in his chair, he tried to analyze the situation.

Whatever the problem was, it wasn't something trivial. Alex was a woman in a male-dominated career, and she prided herself on her tough exterior. For her, shows of intense emotion were very, very rare. She had a certain air about her that came across clearly to everyone around her: one look and you knew this was one cop you didn't want to mess with. Those who did make the unfortunate mistake of making cracks about her gender or height always ended up regretting it for a very long time. Those who compared her to either her father or her partner faced a similarly undesirable fate. It was rare that she got emotional at all, and if you saw her cry, you'd better take a picture, because it was almost guaranteed that you would never see it again.

Yes, Alexandra Eames was not the type of woman to be seen with evidence of a breakdown still visible on her face. Something had to be seriously wrong for her not to care about showing her mood to the entire Major Case Squad.

She looked up from her seat to see him studying her, a look of concern mixed with curiosity on his face. She quickly lowered her eyes, avoiding that infamous penetrating gaze he liked to use on suspects. She tried to concentrate on the paperwork in front of her, but she could still feel him watching her.

Turning her gaze upward again, she found him in the exact same position as he'd been when she'd first looked.

Suddenly feeling an unexplained shot of anger toward him, she glared. "Take a picture, it'll last longer," she retorted, feeling like a third grader even as she said it.

He raised his eyebrows and gave her a look of questioning mixed with amusement. His expression somehow conveyed both his surprise at her unusual moodiness and humor that she would use an insult like that.

Alex cringed inwardly. Once again, he'd managed to tell her more in one look than she could in complete sentences. Overcome by the sudden urge to throw something, she abruptly stood and strode wordlessly out of the squad room, nearly knocking over her chair in the process.

Bobby watched her for a second or two as she virtually ran out of the shining glass doors. By now, he knew better than to follow her, or any woman for that matter, and try to talk when she was in a mood like that. The end result was rarely the calm, quiet conversation he wanted it to be. It usually involved various objects hurtling toward his head at high speeds. Hoping to avoid another incident like that, he stayed at his desk and waited patiently for her to come back.

* * *

He didn't have to wait long. A few minutes later, she was walking back to her desk and looking considerably more stable. Reaching her chair, she sat down and turned her attention to her desk's surface, which by now had several thick stacks of paperwork scattered across its surface. Without a word or even a glance upward, she started into the files. 

Bobby continued to watch her, searching for a sign of what had caused her abrupt exit. She'd been pissed off at the world five minutes ago, but now she seemed significantly calmer.

After a few moments, she felt his eyes on her and glanced up. At the sight of him staring at her, her relaxed expression changed to one of annoyance.

"Quit trying to analyze me, Goren," she said with a slight strain in her voice. "I'm fine."

Even as she said it, she realized how weak it sounded. "Fine" was definitely not the most convincing word she could have used. With Bobby Goren, saying you were fine was the surest way to let him know that you were definitely _not_ fine, especially when it came to someone he knew as well as Alex.

He raised his eyebrows at her words. "You don't _sound_ like it," he said disbelievingly. "You sound more like you're trying to stop yourself from punching someone."

She threw up her hands in exasperation. "Can I just do the damn paperwork?" she replied, a little louder than she meant to. Lowering her voice at the sight of a few heads turning in her direction, she said, "I just…I don't want to talk about it, alright?"

For a second, the anger and annoyance in her eyes disappeared and a new emotion surfaced in its place. For the briefest of moments, Bobby could swear he saw a glimpse of pain and sadness in her normally bright brown eyes.

But as quickly as it came, it was gone. Her expression of agitation returned, and with one last glare of warning, she turned back to her paperwork.

If he didn't know better, he'd have thought he imagined it. But there was no mistaking what he'd seen in that fleeting second when she'd dropped the tough-as-nails act. As much as she hated to admit it sometimes, Alex was human, and that meant she could feel something other than contempt for criminals. Something had happened to her, and he was going to find out what it was.

* * *

Seven hours later, it was time to pack it up and Alex had still hardly said a word to anyone. It had been an unusually slow day, with no new cases for what was generally, if a little reluctantly, considered the MCS' best team. With no interviews, no interrogations, and no leads to follow, Goren and Eames had spent the majority of the time at their respective desks catching up on their backlog of paperwork. Throughout the day, Alex had carefully avoided saying anything that might incite anything even close to a conversation. 

But the day was over now. A good portion of their colleagues had already abandoned their desks to head home, get some sleep, and start fresh in the morning.

Bobby leaned back in his chair, stretched, and sighed. He looked over at his partner, who was still engrossed in the scattered remnants of what used to be a bulky stack of paperwork and decided it was time for them to call it a day.

"Eames," he spoke up, breaking her reverie. "You want to get out of here and get some dinner?"

For the first time all day, she smiled. "Sure, Bobby," she replied. "I'd like that."

Her smile suddenly turned mischievous. "On one condition," she continued. "You're buying."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Here it is, the long-awaited second chapter. (Well, not really _long_ awaited. It was only, like, 4 days.) As always, thanks to The Confused One for fixing this up for me.

Aussi, l'emission n'est pas ma. C'est la propriete de Dick Wolf et NBC. (That's French for "don't sue.")

* * *

Alex set the grocery bags she was carrying down on Bobby's kitchen counter. "I still don't see why we couldn't just go out," she muttered. "No groceries, no cooking, no dishes…" 

Bobby smiled as he entered behind her. "I'll handle the cooking and the clean-up; you just get a glass of wine and enjoy yourself." Retrieving a bottle of white wine and two glasses, he handed them to her and playfully nudged her out of the kitchen. "You go out and entertain yourself while I get the noodles boiling."

She dutifully obeyed, taking the bottle and glasses out to the living room and setting them down on the coffee table. Pouring a glass for herself, she settled in to his black leather couch and turned on the TV in the hope of finding something worthwhile to watch.

A cheesy sitcom about a dysfunctional family in the suburbs…_click_.

A medical drama about doctors who have way too much casual sex…_click_.

The news. The President was meeting with the Emir of Grufunkistan (or something like that)…_click_.

A legal drama about lawyers who have way too much casual sex…_click_.

The Weather Chan-_click_.

An infotainment show with the latest gossip on Tom Cruise and…_click_.

A crime drama about detectives who have way too much casual sex…_click_.

A melodramatic dramedy about high school students…_click_.

A group of middle-aged men arguing about who was going to make it to the playoffs…_click_.

Another plot-less reality show full of sleazy, greedy, self-absorbed 20-somethings…_click_.

A sex comedy about unrealistic single women. (Who has that much sex in real life?)…_click_.

A History Channel show about…what else? World War II…_click_.

A cop show…Alex stayed on that one for a while before she realized it was the no-one-ever-gets-away-with-it kind…_click_.

She went around the horn a few times over before finally giving up and turning it off. Pouring herself another glass of wine, she walked over to the large wooden console that held Bobby's extensive DVD collection. She set down her drink and started to leaf through the titles.

_Steal This Movie…The Hand that Rocks the Cradle…The Sopranos: The Complete Third Season…What About Bob…Men in Black…Oz: The Complete Second Season…Life as a House…The Hunt for Red October…Castaway…_

"Eames…" came Bobby's voice from behind her. From her crouching position on the floor, she turned to see him standing in the kitchen doorway, a plate of food in each hand. Smiling, he gestured to the table. "Dinner is served."

She took the seat that he held out for her, rolling her eyes inwardly at his chivalry. "Mmmm…" she hummed, savoring the smell of what he'd dished up for her. "What is this, chicken penne?"

He smiled. "With ciabatta bread and roasted carrots," he replied with a nod.

"Impressive," she said with a smile of her own. "You didn't have to do all this for me." She placed a hand on his forearm. "Thanks, Bobby." Her voice turned tense. "God knows I needed something like this after…" Trailing off, she grabbed the wine bottle. Pouring herself a third glass, she shook her head slightly and looked away. "Just…thanks."

Removing her hand, she turned her eyes back to him. The look of concern and curiosity was back on his face. His gaze was too much. Looking back down, she went back to eating her pasta.

For a few moments, she was afraid he would ask what she'd been about to say. Willing herself not to look up again, she tried to concentrate on her dinner. When the first awkward seconds had passed, she mentally thanked God for letting Bobby be satisfied with her silence.

But he wasn't satisfied. He wasn't settling for her attempt to drop the subject. And he definitely wasn't going to stay clueless.

Because Detective Robert O. Goren did _not_ like to be clueless.

* * *

"So, I'm sitting with Carolyn at the bar and this guy comes over. He sits down next to me and says, 'Can I buy you a drink, or should I just give you the money?'" Alex started laughing, cracking up at her own joke. She slapped her palm down on the smooth oak of the table and took another drink from her glass of wine. In the 45 minutes since they'd started eating, she'd managed to burn through half the bottle. 

Bobby looked at her in amused disbelief. "I think you've had enough," he said as he blocked her attempt to grab the bottle. When she reached for her still half-full glass, he took it away too. "You're drunk, Eames."

Still laughing softly, she shook her head. "I'm just fine," she said as she stood up. "I just need a…margarita…or something." She took a few steps toward the kitchen and nearly fell flat on her face. Bobby jumped up from his seat and caught her just before she took a header into the Spanish tile.

"Whoops," she said, her soft giggling becoming stronger and stronger until she was cracking up again. "I was…walking…and then…I…I fell…" she gasped between fits of laughter. "And then you caught me!"

Giggling, she wrapped her arms around him. "You saved me, Bobby," she said, slightly slurring a few syllables. She fingered his blue striped tie. "What would I do without you…" She moved her hands behind his head so her wrists linked and her whole body pressed against his. Even with a pair of heels on, her small frame barely reached his neck. Burying her head into his pale blue shirt, she sagged into his much larger build.

He looked down at her as she let herself go limp against him. He ran through several options in his head before deciding that he should get her back into her seat before he tried anything else. "Eames…we're going to walk back to the table, okay?" She nodded, still giggling about nothing in particular.

A few moments and many shaky steps later, he'd managed to get her safely back into her chair. She looked up at him, the smile still on her face. She picked up the wine bottle and shook it. Realizing that it was empty she set it back on the table. "Bobby, how much wine did I have?" She started giggling again. "I stopped counting after 7…"

He raised his eyebrows in amusement. With a smile and a shake of his head, he took the wine bottle away. "Just stay there. I'm going to make some coffee." After making sure she was stable, he left her in the dining room and stepped into the kitchen.

He emerged a few minutes later holding two steaming mugs. Handing one to her, he sat down next to her. "You need some caffeine," he said, motioning for her to drink.

She looked at him suspiciously. "Did you make it how I like it, with-"

"Two creams and three sugars," he finished. "I know." He handed her the steaming mug. "Careful, it's hot."

She teasingly smacked him on the arm. "I'm not a baby, Bobby," she said irritably. Her annoyance quickly changed to more laughter. "Baby, Bobby. That rhymes." Her expression changed again. This time she gave him a deadly serious look. "Did you know that?" She stared gravely at him for a few seconds before collapsing into laughter again.

He rolled his eyes at her. _At least she's a happy drunk…_

Straightening up, she smiled again. "You're a good person, Bobby. Did you know that?" She put her hand on the same place on his arm. "You treat me better than Will did." Her smile disappeared. "He was nice to me at first. Then he changed." Removing her hand, she leaned back in her chair. "He told me he was single, and I believed him. I didn't even question him, just accepted it. But you know what? He was a liar."

A sad smile came across her face. "I went out to dinner with Carolyn last night, and you know what I saw? Him. With another woman." Her bottom lip quivered slightly, but she continued. "It was his wife. He was married." She turned her gaze down at the floor. "I'm only attractive to desperate married guys. I'm only good enough to be the other woman."

The single tear became many as she started to cry. She looked back up at Bobby with a heartbreaking expression. "Nobody wants me. What's wrong with me?"

At that, he was immediately out of his own chair and crouching next to her. He placed a comforting arm around her shoulders. "Nothing's wrong with you, Eames." He pulled her into a hug. "You're just fine. You didn't do anything wrong."

Grabbing his shirt again, she held onto him and cried. Even through her still slightly foggy mind, she realized how lucky she was to have someone like him as a partner and a friend.

After a few minutes, she pulled away. Sniffing, she wiped her eyes, trying to make herself appear more presentable.

Bobby gave her a sympathetic smile. "Are you going to be okay?"

She nodded. "I'll be fine." She checked the time on her cell phone. 9:37. "I should go," she said, sounding better for her coffee. Standing up, she headed for the door.

Once again, she almost fell facedown onto his tile, and once again, Bobby caught her just in time.

She flashed him a weak smile. "I guess I'm not fine…"

He gave her a small sympathetic smile in return. Standing her up straight, he draped his arm across her back for support. "I should drive you home."

Her smile was slightly stronger this time. "Okay."

* * *

She was fast asleep by the time they reached her building. Bobby didn't have the heart to wake her; she looked so peaceful after her night as an emotional roller coaster. So he carried her. 

He carefully lifted her out of the passenger's seat. As cautiously as he could, he took her up to her apartment and into her bedroom. He felt a bit awkward standing there in her room, like he was intruding on somewhere private where he had no right to be. Almost…guilty.

Trying to shake the feeling, he turned his attention back to the woman in his arms. Walking over to the bed, he gently laid her down on the navy blue comforter. She stirred slightly, but didn't wake.

He stood there for a moment, just looking at her. He watched as her chest rose and fell steadily in time with her breathing. All night, she'd alternated between anger and sadness. But now in her sleep, she finally seemed calm.

A small smile spread across his face. Leaning over her, he softly laid a kiss on her cheek.

"Goodnight, Alex."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Chapter 2 was long-ish, so this one is short-ish. Thanks to The Confused One, as always!

**Disclaimer:** I put them on my Christmas list, but I doubt Dick Wolf has read it.

**

* * *

**

"You've reached Robert Goren. I'm not available right now, so leave your name and phone number, and I'll return your call." _Beeeeep…_

Alex shifted the phone under her cheek. "Hi, Bobby, it's me. I just wanted to say that…I'm sorry about last night. I had too much to drink and I-I just said more than I should have. I hope we can just…forget all this and go back to normal." She paused for a moment as she gathered her words. "And thanks for taking me home. You didn't have to do that. It was really…sweet of you." She trailed off for a moment, not really sure what else to say. After a long moment of silence, she remembered that the machine was still recording. "Bye."

Replacing the phone in its cradle, she let out a sigh. "He probably thinks I'm insane," she said to her empty apartment. She gave a snort of ironic laughter. "Just what I want to be known as. A drunken lunatic who takes advantage of people's hospitality while pouring her heart out."

Suddenly, an idea came to her. The light bulb blinked on and hand-delivered a way to at least partly redeem herself. Reaching for the phone again, she quickly dialed the number that she knew by heart.

* * *

A knock sounded at the door. Alex checked the clock, smirking as she saw the time. _6:30 exactly_, she thought to herself. _Right on time._

She walked over to the door and checked the peephole. She knew it would be him, but her cop instincts told her that it was better to be safe than sorry. Seeing it was, in fact, her partner, she smiled widely and opened the door.

"Hey, Bobby," she said warmly. "Come on in."

"Hi," he replied with a smile of his own. He handed her a bottle as he entered. "I brought this for dinner."

She gave him a quizzical look as she took it from him. "Bobby, I-"

Cutting her off, his smile turned slightly mischievous. "Read the label."

She did as she was told. "Welch's Sparkling White Grape Juice," she read off, laughing as she realized what it was. Looking back up at Bobby, she rolled her eyes playfully. "I don't think I've had this since I was a teenager."

"Well, now we can both stay sober." A hint of empathy invaded his smile.

Hers drooped, her eyes suddenly tingeing with anger. "I'll take this into the kitchen," she said sharply. She turned abruptly on her heel and walked away, leaving him standing alone in the foyer wondering what stupid thing he'd said this time.

* * *

That evening, dinner was tense. They spoke to each other, but not in the friendly banter of two people who had been partners and friends for years. It was the somewhat awkward mixture of small talk and trivial comments about work that meant neither of them really knew what to say. No one wanted to mention the night before, the huge pink elephant standing right next to the bottle of sparkling cider. 

Once they'd finished their food and washed the dishes, they didn't quite know what to do. For a few moments, they stood awkwardly in the kitchen, trying to find something, anything, that would keep their hands busy so they didn't have to stop and think of something to say.

Bobby was the first to break the silence. Tossing the rag he'd been wiping down the counter with back into the sink, he turned to face her. "Eames, I-I want to apologize." There, he'd gotten her attention. "You're obviously touchy about what happened. I shouldn't have brought it up."

Some of the anger that had flared in her eyes quieted down. "I should apologize too," she said. "I overreacted when I saw the bottle. I was just…embarrassed about how I acted last night."

"It's okay," he replied. He smiled at her. "So we're good?"

She nodded. "Good," he continued. "You know, I brought that juice so that _neither_ of us would get drunk." He chuckled softly. "I don't think you could carry me when you're sober, and definitely not when you're drunk."

He turned around again and was startled to see the anger returning to her face. She glared at him for a second before turning her back to him.

Alex gripped the kitchen counter, trying to fight down the heat rising to her face. She couldn't believe he was joking about it, right after her obvious embarrassment a moment ago.

She heard quiet footsteps behind her as he closed the distance between them. "Eames?" She ignored him and continued to stare at her cupboards.

She flinched when his warm hand came to rest on her arm. "Eames…"

At the apologetic tone in his voice, she relented and turned around. "What, Bobby?" she asked harshly, pulling away from his touch. He paused at the anger in her voice. Her eyes narrowed. "I wasn't planning on drinking at all. But if you don't want to risk it, then fine. Go home." She stopped and turned around to face the wall again. "I won't blame you." She tried to keep from crying, but a single tear ran down her cheek. She brushed it away just as he put his hand back on her arm and turned her around himself.

"Eames…I didn't mean it like that." She was looking straight up into his eyes now. They seemed...concerned. "I just meant that I didn't want you to be embarrassed, or…guilty. I don't want my friends to feel bad when I help them." He smiled slightly. "Eames, you are _not_ an imposition. And don't ever think you are." Reaching out, he wiped the tear off her face.

He was right in front of her now, his face only inches from hers. Alex remembered thinking that they were standing way too close together. She remembered thinking that she should back away because he was _not_ supposed to give her butterflies like this. She remembered briefly considering backing off and pretending like nothing had just happened. That was about when she stopped thinking.

Because in the next moment, his lips were on hers. And that was a surefire way to make her forget everything else.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Dear readers, you will hate me for this.

**Disclaimer:** I wish they were mine, but Dick Wolf won't share. I guess he missed that day of kindergarten.

* * *

When Bobby woke up the next morning, the first thing he noticed was that he was freezing cold. 

The second thing he noticed was why – he wasn't wearing anything. At that, he sat bolt upright in bed.

That was when he had a third revelation – he wasn't in his own apartment.

It took a second for the memory of the previous night to come back to him. But as soon as it did, it whapped him over the head with the realization of what he- what _they_- had done. He felt his eyes widen as he remembered.

Throwing off Alex's pale blue sheets, he jumped out of bed in a semi-panic. He hurriedly put back on the same clothes he'd worn the night before at dinner…the clothes he'd let her take off of him…the clothes that…

He shook his head in an attempt to banish the memory of last night from his head. He couldn't be thinking like that right now; he had to go out there and deal with the inevitable awkwardness that came from sleeping with your partner.

No matter how good that recollection might be…

* * *

Alex heard his footsteps coming down the hallway just as she finished filling the second mug with coffee. She'd been up for over an hour now, waiting for him to finally wake up. Turning to the doorway, she found him standing there in the same outfit he'd been wearing the evening before. 

She smiled warmly and handed him her 'I stood at the Four Corners' cup. "Good morning," she said cheerfully. "Do you want some breakfast? I was thinking pancakes, but I can make something else if that doesn't sound good."

"Yeah, pancakes are good," he replied. She could hear the hint of confusion in his voice, but she chalked it up to the unfamiliarity of their territory.

She'd known from the second she'd woken up that morning that things wouldn't be the same between them. Last night they'd crossed a line, and she knew they couldn't go back to the other side.

It was understood at One PP just how risky it was to get involved with your partner. They'd all seen the relationships that had crashed and burned, the great pairings that were ruined because they gave in to temptation. The first time that Alex had found herself musing over Bobby's dark bedroom eyes was the first time she realized that she was going to have to be careful. Whatever feelings she may have for him, they had to stay out of her professional life. And so she'd hidden them, buried them deep down inside herself, determined to never let them out. But last night…

Last night, they hadn't just stepped over the line, they'd rubbed it out entirely. She knew him well enough to anticipate his reaction: he would over think it, be too careful, and end up letting opportunity walk on by in the name of playing it safe. It was up to her to make sure they didn't fall apart.

* * *

Breakfast was a quiet affair. Neither of them really knew what to say. Alex was starting to have bad flashbacks of the previous night's tense dinner when Bobby finally spoke up. 

"Uh, E-Eames, I-I-I…" he sputtered before stopping to take a breath. "Alex, I wanted to say that…" He trailed off for a few seconds, as if he wasn't quite sure what it was that he wanted to say. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."

Alex just stared at him in confusion. He was _apologizing_?

He avoided her eyes, instead focusing on his plate as if the short stack on it was suddenly very fascinating. "You weren't thinking straight, and I wasn't thinking at all."

He brought his gaze back up to her eyes. "You were vulnerable, and I took advantage of that. I'm sorry."

Alex had been shocked at first, but she was beyond that. Now she was fuming. "You're _sorry_? You come over here, you kiss me, you make love to me, and now you have the audacity to try to apologize for it?" She gave him a look somewhere between anger and disbelief. "I don't believe this…"

Now it was Bobby's turn to be shocked. "B-but Alex, I th-thought it would be what you wanted-"

She cut him off mid-sentence. "Bobby, why do you think I slept with you last night?"

"I-I don't know…"

She rolled her eyes at him. "I did it because I wanted it, and I knew you wanted it too. Not because I felt obligated, not because I wasn't thinking, and not because you took advantage of me." She stopped to let out a sigh of agitation. "We slept together, Bobby. That doesn't happen by accident. We both made a choice last night. If you regret yours, then say it now." She looked directly into his eyes, as if to challenge him.

For a moment, Bobby just stared at her, not really sure of what to say. The emotional part of him felt like kissing her. He'd known exactly what he was doing last night. He'd made a conscious decision to make the first move, knowing full well what it might lead to. That half of him didn't regret for a second what had happened between them.

But the logical part of him said otherwise. While his heart dreamed about the possibilities, his brain was busy ticking off everything that could go wrong. What if they couldn't work well together anymore? What if the brass found out? What if they broke up? _You can't deal with another string of incompatible partners._

An even worse thought invaded his mind. What if she didn't feel anything for him? What if last night had just been about sex? What if she didn't want anything to come out of this? What if she just wanted them to go back to the way they used to be? _You can't go back to being "just friends" with her._

Bobby-the-optimist and Bobby-the-pessimist were internally duking it out, fighting their own little war over how to handle this.

And the cynical side of him was winning.

He cast a nervous glance back up at Alex. "I-I don't know if we should do this," he said weakly. He knew what he had to say, but that didn't make it any easier. "W-what if…"

He trailed off when he saw that she had started to cry. Cautiously, he stepped toward her, reaching out to place a comforting hand on her arm. "Alex…"

"Don't…" she said sharply. Shaking off his hand, she backed away from him. "I thought we would be able to work this out, but you've obviously made your choice." Sniffing, she wiped the tears off her face in an attempt to compose herself. "I think maybe you should go," she said softly. "I can't deal with this right now."

"Alex, can't we…"

She cut him off with a shake of her head. "Please, just go."

Bobby silently obeyed, walking the short distance to the apartment door without saying another word. Opening it, he took one last look backward into the apartment, not wanting to leave things like this.

But she was already gone.

4


	5. Chapter 5

A/N::dodges stones:: I know, I know, this took _forever_. I blame it on a combination of lack of inspiration, personal stuff, and an enormous amount of school project-related stress.

* * *

For hours, the only sound coming from apartment 3C was the quiet crying of Alex Eames. As soon as Bobby turned to go, Alex had left the kitchen. She'd started to head for her bedroom, but stopped when she realized the irony of using it as a haven now. She redirected her steps and took refuge in the bathroom. 

She turned the faucet on to fill the tub, adding some vanilla-scented bubble bath for good measure. Slowly lowering herself into it, she sank down under the surface until all that was visible was her head above the glistening sheen of bubbles. Steam from the scalding hot water curled up around her as she let herself cry.

She'd known that something like this might happen. She'd seen it happen to the best of them – the partners who had wanted more and ended up with nothing. But she'd never thought…

It had never occurred to her that anything could happen to her own partnership. She'd imagined them in a relationship before, musing over what it would be like to have his big, sturdy frame by her side. In her daydreams, they'd been very happy together – but this was real life.

She didn't know why she'd expected a fairy tale. Both of their lives were anything but – between the two of them, they had a dead father, another known as a disgraced cop, a cancer patient mother in a psychiatric hospital, an addict brother, a dead husband, a surrogate nephew, a psychotic Australian with a vendetta, a kidnapping, and a few (clean) shootings under their respective belts.

But, as cliché as it sounded, they'd always been there for each other. Through smooth sailing and rough spots in their lives, they'd stuck together – her maternity leave, The Letter, his mom's psychotic episodes, Nicole Wallace, Croydon's suicide …through everything, there had always been a sense of mutual support. And now when she needed him the most, he was the one person she couldn't go to.

* * *

When Bobby Goren wanted to relax, concentrate, or just plain old think, he would take a walk. He'd always found that it helped to just let his feet wander along with his mind. It made it easier to figure things out about whatever the problem of the moment happened to be. 

But today was different. When he got back to his apartment, he immediately changed into something more comfortable and headed out for a stroll around the city, figuring it would clear his mind like it usually did.

But instead of letting his mind go where it pleased, he found his thoughts focusing on one thing: Eames.

If he stripped away all the other factors in their relationship, it all boiled down to one single fact: he loved her. He hadn't admitted it to himself until now, but somewhere in the deep recesses of his mind, he'd known it was true all along. That's why it had hurt so much to see her crying two nights ago. It was why he'd felt like hunting down anyone who broke her heart. And it was why he'd finally got up the nerve to do something about how he felt.

But he knew himself, and he knew that he wasn't an easy person to love. He hadn't known what she felt about him, so instead of risking getting hurt, he'd backed off. He retreated from her in an attempt to salvage whatever was left of the friendly, platonic, _safe_ relationship that they'd had before. It was ironic, really. He'd taken the easy route in order to save his own feelings and had ended up ruining it for them both.

As he wandered back onto his own street, he contemplated his course of action. He couldn't just show up at her door and expect her to forgive him for all the stupid things he'd said and done. He would wait a while longer, then go to her apartment and apologize for everything. His only hope was that she'd be able to forgive him.

It was his only chance to clean up this mess that he'd made.

* * *

A little after 6:00 that evening, a soft knock sounded at Alex's door. She was sitting on the couch, watching clichéd chick flicks, and eating from a carton of takeout Chinese. Setting her orange chicken down on the glass coffee table, she walked over to see who was there. 

Checking the peephole, she immediately recognized the tall frame and dark gray curls that were standing there.

He'd come back.

She cautiously opened the door a few inches, not sure yet if she was ready to talk yet. She'd spent the majority of her afternoon commiserating with Bridget Jones about relationship problems; now might not be the best time to have a heart-to-heart about their feelings.

"Hi," she said simply, pulling the door open the rest of the way. Her voice had a definite sharpness to it that didn't go unnoticed by her partner. "What are you doing here?"

He looked straight into her eyes with his infamous penetrating gaze. "I wanted-" he started, but stopped short. Pausing for a moment to collect his words, he continued. "I don't know, exactly."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "You don't know?"

The slightest hint of a blush crept up his cheeks as he looked down at the floor. "I-I m-mean, I don't know what to say to make it right. I m-messed up, Eames, and I know it." He sighed deeply, a downtrodden look coming over his face as he looked back up at her.

"Eames…Alex…w-we can't do this," he said softly. He willed himself to keep going. _You have to say this_.

But that didn't make it any easier.

During his walk, he'd made up his mind about what he had to do. Last night and their fight that morning had left him overwhelmed and reeling. In less than 24 hours, their whole relationship had unraveled, and his sense of security had gone with it. He knew himself all too well. In his hours of thought, he'd convinced himself of one thing: he wanted what was best for her, and that didn't include himself. He'd told himself that he was doing this for her; that if he loved her, he'd let her go.

Sighing deeply, he continued. "I-it just can't work. I-I'm not good for you."

He fell quiet at the look on her face. If he hadn't known better, Bobby would've sworn that the expression "thunderous silence" had been created for this exact moment in time. Alex didn't say a word, but she didn't have to. Her eyes said it all. Looking into them, he couldn't see any of their usual warmth. All that was there was defeat. She gave him a look of anger and disappointment.

"Get out of my apartment," she said quietly. Her voice wasn't loud, but it had a chill to it that made him wish she had yelled. If she'd screamed at him, it would have been easier to take than the eerie tone of whispered condemnation it held now.

"Alex-" he began, wanting to explain himself, but she cut him off.

"Get. Out."

Not wanting to start another fight, he decided that it was best for him to leave. As soon as he was fully out the door, he felt the rush of air and heard the slam behind him that meant she had shut the door on him.

He dejectedly strode towards the elevator. Plan A had officially gone to hell. Now it was time to put Plan B into action.

As soon as he thought of one…


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I know, I've been horrible about updating. The next one won't take so long, I promise.

* * *

Monday mornings were normally a very routine part of the week at the Major Case Squad. The squad room was always full of detectives catching up on their case files, sifting through the piles of fresh paperwork, and talking to their colleagues about their respective weekends. For most of the officers milling around the eleventh floor, Monday the 24th was no exception. But for Bobby, this particular Monday was a glaring exception. 

Because this Monday happened to be the day he would find out if he was going to lose his best friend, the woman he loved. Today was the day he found out if his partnership was over.

It was still early and Alex hadn't arrived yet. He hadn't seen or spoken to her again since their ill-fated encounter outside her apartment Sunday evening. That night, he'd felt like a pathetic teenager, sitting no more than one room away from a phone at all times, praying to God that she would call so they could work this out. He had enough personal crises going on without having to add another one to the list. If he lost her…he didn't know if he could handle it. He'd been going out of his mind all night and all morning. He couldn't have slept for more than an hour or two last night; he'd spent the majority of the night sitting on his couch trying to work out a plan for damage control. His hours of thinking hadn't helped; his analysis had backfired on him and kept him up even longer thinking about all the ways things could get even worse than they already were.

He could feel his eyes widen and his whole body become flushed when he saw her walking into the squad room through the double glass doors. She held a cup of coffee in one hand and a piece of paper in the other. As she approached her desk, he started to open his mouth to say something to her, but abruptly closed it again when she walked straight past them and into Deakins' office, tossing her now-empty foam cup into the trash on the way. The blinds on his door weren't drawn, a sign they'd learned over the years that signaled his door was open to whoever needed him at the moment. Opening it and stepping inside, she shut the door and pulled on the drawstring of the blinds to close them, a small but ominous gesture that told Bobby one thing – whatever she had to say to the captain, it couldn't be good.

Alex had spent the entire morning agonizing over what to do. One weekend had caused so much damage - her partnership was in shambles, the man she loved was currently estranged, and now she had no idea how to fix it. Her self-assurance was gone; she felt as if she'd lost control of her own life. She hated the uncertainty of it all.

But 24 hours of deliberation had produced only one solution. When she'd first thought of it, she'd shut it out, tagging it as a last resort. But as time went on and no miracle resolution came to her, she'd come to the horrifying realization that she may not have any other options.

She slipped quietly through the door into the captain's office, shutting it behind her and drawing the blinds for good measure.

Looking up from his desk, Deakins started to smile, but stopped when he saw the look of distress on her face. "Eames? You all right?" he asked with genuine concern. "What's wrong?"

She quickly moved toward one of the chairs in front of his desk and sat down, hoping that he didn't notice the tremble that refused to leave her hands. "Captain, I…" she began, doing the best to keep the quiver out of her voice. "Do you remember that letter I wrote 5 years ago?"

He looked at her in confusion. "After the Garret trial, I don't think any of us can forget it. Why?"

Looking him solemnly in the eye, she slid the paper in her hand across the desk to him. "I think it's time for me to use it."

* * *

For ten minutes, Bobby sat at his desk, alternating between wringing his hands, running his hand through his hair, and an assortment of other nervous tics that showed just how anxious he really was. When Alex finally emerged from Deakins' office, he started to open his mouth, desperate to tell her the million things he'd thought of since he'd seen her last. But instead of going to her desk, she turned right out the door, heading for the interrogation rooms. He got up out of his chair, fully intent on going after her, but stopped when Deakins called his name.

"Goren, my office, now." The captain's voice was stern, but still held the note of understanding that it always seemed to have. Obeying, he turned around and charted a course for the now open door.

Upon entering the room, Bobby shut the door behind him and took a seat. Looking warily at Deakins, he waited for him to speak. He was caught between his desperate need to know what she'd said and the dread that it was something he didn't want to hear.

"Goren, do you want to tell me what in the hell is going on between you and Eames? When I come into work in the morning, I don't want the first conversation I have to be with someone who's so distraught over some fight you two had that she doesn't think that you can work together anymore!" The sympathy was gone from his voice, only to be replaced by irritation. "She wouldn't even tell me what happened, she just kept saying that she couldn't work with you anymore." He sighed deeply. "I managed to talk her out of officially requesting a new partner, but she's still not alright. I haven't seen her this upset since she testified at the Garret trial." He gave Bobby an imploring look. "Now, Goren, I don't know what you two did this weekend, and I don't think I want to. But I do know that you need to go find your partner and _talk to her_."

Bobby just nodded silently, his mind racing. He knew she was upset, but he hadn't known it was this bad. If she was asking for a new partner…

Standing up, he tried to collect himself and his thoughts. Exiting quickly, he turned out of Deakins' office and headed to the interrogation rooms. She might be giving up, but he wasn't.

He wasn't going to sit back and watch them crumble.


	7. Chapter 7

He found her in an interrogation room. She was leaning on the one-way glass, her forehead pressed against its surface. The door was slightly ajar, letting in a small stream of light into the otherwise darkened room. He could see the tears that were rolling down her face as she cried quietly to herself.

He cautiously opened the door and stepped inside. "Alex?" he asked softly, not wanting to startle her.

She lifted her head from the window and looked at him. "What do you want?" she replied, the pain evident in her voice. Judging by the streaks on her face and her red-rimmed eyes, she'd been crying hard for a while now.

He took a few steps toward her. "I just talked to the Captain…"

"I guess he told you what I said." There was no anger in her voice, no fear, no apprehension. Only the empty tone of someone who just had their heart broken.

Bobby didn't know what to say. Determining that saying as little as possible was his best bet for now, he decided to keep his replies simple. "Yeah, he did."

"Then why are you here?"

He paused, not sure what to say to that. "I thought we should talk about this before we do anything."

Turning to face him, she shot him a look of disbelief. "What is there to talk about? We can't just pretend nothing happened, Bobby. It's never going to be like it was. There'll always be the elephant in the room that we can't get rid of." She wiped a tear off her cheek. "How can we ever be partners again?"

He was speechless for a moment before he could regain his thoughts. "Alex, I don't…I don't want this to be the end. I don't want to lose you." He paused for a moment and glanced down at the floor. Raising his head again, he looked straight into her eyes. "I love you," he murmured softly.

He said it so quietly that she almost didn't hear him. In shock, she searched his eyes for insincerity, but there was none. She could tell that he was telling the truth – he loved her. Her mind went temporarily blank, leaving her gaping and unsure of what to say.

He watched as the astonished look on her face suddenly changed to one of fury. Her eyes were steely, losing all trace of the startled look they had held before.

"It's not that simple, Bobby!" She wasn't shouting, but she didn't need to. Her tone said much more than her volume ever could. The exasperation in her voice was obvious.

He looked back at her, now his turn to be shocked. He hadn't planned on telling her like this, but he'd imagined a less hostile reaction when he did.

"Why not?" he replied, the calm in his voice beginning to give way to frustration. "I'm telling you that I love you, and all you can say is 'it's not that simple'?"

"Bobby, we…" she began, but trailed off when the tears started to roll down her face again. "I don't know if love is enough." She paused for a moment as she wiped her eyes. "We can't just say we love each other and walk off into the sunset."

"Why not?"

"It doesn't work that way!" She was nearly yelling now. "Happily ever after isn't a given, Bobby! Things don't always work out how you want them to!" She shot him a look of pure poison. "You said it yourself when you came to my apartment, we can't do this!"

He looked at her in confusion. "Is that why you're so upset? Because of what I said?" She didn't respond, the venomous look still on her face. "Alex, you have to understand, when I came there, I just wanted to-"

"Stop," she said suddenly, cutting him off. "Just stop." She wiped the few remaining tears off of her face before continuing. "If you keep talking, you're going to work your way back into my heart, and…" she trailed off.

"Alex…"

"No, let me finish. I learned my lesson the first time around. This weekend, I let you into my heart, and now I'm stuck here putting it back together. You fooled me once, so shame on you." She took a deep breath and looked up into his eyes. "Shame on me if I let you try again." Her voice shook as she said it. She knew that he'd pick up on it immediately, the profiler in him sensing her pain as she spoke.

"Alex, can't we talk about this?" He was trying to keep his voice even, but there was a detectable undercurrent of desperation.

"Why? You made your choice yesterday when you said we can't do this."

"I didn't mean-"

"You still said it."

He gave her a pleading look. "I never meant for this to happen, Alex. I never wanted our partnership to end. I was…" he trailed off, not sure if he should finish that sentence.

"You were what?"

He should have known that she wasn't going to let him off that easily. "I-I was…I wanted to protect you."

"Protect me?" she scoffed. "How is trampling on my heart supposed to protect me?"

"I-I…" he stammered, unsure if his reasons made sense to anyone but himself. "I'm not good for you," he said finally. "You'd be better off without me."

"That's what you said before, Bobby, and it didn't make any more sense then." She looked at him with a mixture of anger and disbelief. "If you can't deal with this, then let me know now. I don't want to waste anymore time deciding if I really should switch partners."

"Eames, I…" He paused for a few seconds and looked straight into her eyes. "I don't want to lose you."

She gave him a heartbreaking look. The room was engulfed in silence as they just looked at each other, each trying to make sense of what was happening to them. After a moment, she finally broke the silence. Her voice was so quiet that it was barely above a whisper.

"You already have."


	8. Chapter 8

Bobby just stared at her in shock. His mind screeched to a grinding halt and he suddenly lost the ability to speak. The thought of losing her made his mind short-circuit.

Before he could get himself together, a harsh voice came from the doorway, jolting him out of his disbelief.

"Goren, Eames, my office," Deakins said severely. Neither of them moved immediately out of surprise at the sudden sound. "Now!" he yelled, sweeping out of the room. They followed shortly behind, walking fast just to keep up with the obviously angry man in front of them.

In the confines of the office, the captain gestured to them to have a seat. He started to sit down in his own chair, but seemed too restless to stay down. Getting up again, he started to pace around the room, a look of frustration on his face. For a few moments, the only sound in the room was the fabric of his suit brushing against itself. He came to rest back in front of them, leaning against the front of his desk as he spoke.

"Now, I don't know what happened between the two of you, and I don't care. But I do care that two of my best detectives are acting like teenagers instead of professional adults." He paused as he let out a sigh. "You two are obviously not ready to handle this mess right now, so I'm going to tell you what's going to happen." He looked pointedly at each of them. "You're both going to go home. You're going to take the week off, cool down, and come back with cooler heads on Monday so we can all make a rational decision about this. Am I clear?"

They both just nodded, still reeling over their argument in the interrogation room. "Alright, then. I'll take care of the paperwork," he continued. "You two just go home and relax for a few days. I'll see you next week."

Once their brief meeting was over, Alex grabbed her coat and a few items from her desk and headed straight out the door. Her rapid exit was motivated partly by obedience to her captain and partly by a desperate need to avoid Bobby. She knew that she needed to take Deakins' advice and get away from her partner and the job for a few days. It was the perfect opportunity for her to stop and think through everything that had happened in the past few days without having to worry about a case at the same time. Lord knew that she needed a vacation, a chick flick, and a margarita.

Bobby, on the other hand, lingered for a few minutes after their abrupt dismissal from the office. He watched as Alex quickly collected her things and practically ran for the exit. He wanted to talk to her more than anything in the world, to do whatever he could to make things right. But he'd learned his lesson from their last two encounters. He knew better than to push it this time. He decided that, for the time being, he would let it rest. It had become painfully obvious that neither of them was ready to talk about it yet. _Give it time_, he thought to himself.

* * *

Alex stepped out of the heated lobby of One Police Plaza and onto the snowy sidewalk. Pulling her coat tighter around herself, she headed for the spot where she'd parked her (What kind of car does she have?). She climbed quickly inside to get out of the cold, snapping wind. Shutting the door, she revved the engine to a start, but didn't pull out of the space.

She heaved a sigh and leaned her head into the steering wheel. Her forehead pressed against the textured surface, leaving a matching imprint on her skin. She closed her eyes and let herself pause for a moment to sit and think.

Why was it that every time things were going good for a while, her life had to be shaken up again. She'd been a happily married woman – until her husband died. She'd grown to love her job – until she'd been paired with the police department's very own Rain Man. She'd been getting along wonderfully with her partner – until they'd slept together and ruined the relationship. Whenever she started to coast, life just had to throw in another bump in the road, sending her contentment with the world straight out the window. She let out another heavy sigh and wondered if things would ever be easy. Was it too much to ask for her happiness to last more than a few years? Why couldn't the fates just leave her be? She let out another heavy sigh at the thought of how much someone up there must enjoy jerking her around. She didn't know why else her path had to be this rough.

She took a deep breath and collected herself enough to be able to navigate the busy New York streets. As she pulled slowly out of the parking garage, she let the parts of her mind not concentrating on the road to wander back to the problem at hand.

_You're going to have to be honest with yourself_, the little voice inside her head piped in. It sounded suspiciously like her mother. _Brutally honest. Even when you don't want to. Even when it might hurt._ She knew it was right, she'd have to face certain facts before she continued.

_Okay_, she told her conscience. _First: I knew exactly what I was doing when I slept with him that night. Second: Even though he hurt me badly when he said he didn't want a relationship, I still don't want to lose him._ She paused as she felt the rising urge to skip over what came next. She struggled to fight it down, knowing that it was one of the things that she just had to admit to herself. If she didn't, she couldn't judge her situation fairly.

"Third," she stated out loud, "I love him." She took a small, shuddering breath as she let herself say the words that she'd been denying for years. It felt good to let them out, almost liberating. "I love him," she said again to her empty car. She sat in silence for a few moments, letting the words sink into the air and into her own consciousness.

The cathartic feeling of the moment quickly wore off as she realized that she still had no idea how to right the situation. She slipped into thought again as she pondered her circumstances.

Arriving home, she slowed to a stop in front of her apartment building. She climbed out of her car and entered the looming brick building that was her home. She needed a bath, a drink, and time alone to figure out what the hell she was going to do with her partner.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** I'm going to be on vacation for the next 10 days, so no updates for a little while.

* * *

Bobby sat alone in the living room of his darkened apartment. The only light came from the soft fluorescent glow of the streetlights outside. He leaned back into the cushions of his couch and let the sounds of the street beneath his window wash over him. He downed what remained of his glass of scotch, closing his eyes as the liquid burned its way down his throat. He poured himself another from the half-empty bottle that sat on the coffee table in front of him. He knew he'd regret his binge in the morning, but right now, he didn't care. He needed to numb himself for a while, to forget what was happening to him.

He was startled out of his thoughts by a sudden knock at the door. Setting down his drink, he got up to answer it, wondering who would come to see him at this hour. The only viable person was not someone who had much interest in talking to him at the moment.

He opened the door only to find an empty hallway in front of him. He stood there in confusion for a moment before he realized that something was taped to his door. Turning, he realized it was an envelope. It was simply addressed "Bobby" in a neat handwriting he recognized immediately.

He walked back inside his apartment, shutting the door behind him. Resuming his place on the couch, he opened the envelope and withdrew its contents. Inside was a single folded page, covered in the same hand that formed his name.

_Bobby-_

_There are a few things that I need to tell you, things that I can't say in person. If we talk to each other again right now, it'll just turn into another screaming argument and we'll end up making things worse for ourselves. I'm writing you this note because there are things that I can't just leave unsaid, even if they do cause another fight._

_Even though I was busy yelling at you, I heard what you said in the interrogation room. I believe you, I just think that you picked an awful time to spring that on me. I wasn't prepared for something like that, and it caught me completely off guard. I didn't know what to do, so I overreacted a bit._

_I've done a lot of thinking since we left the squad this morning, and I managed to boil it all down to one thing: I love you, too. I have for a long time, I just never realized it until now. I guess I just needed a crisis to figure it out._

_You understand me better than almost anyone in the word, so please understand this: I need some time alone right now. I'm going to take a few days to relax while I put myself back together after everything that's happened in the last few days. Please don't call or come over for the next few days while I get my head together. Give me some time to myself, and I'll be ready to see you again soon. We'll have a lot to talk about when we do._

_-Alex_

He gripped the letter tightly as he digested what she'd written. _She loves me_, he thought to himself. _After all that I've put her through, she still found a way to love me._ For the first time in days, a smile spread across his face.

He'd opened the envelope expecting the worst, a painful letdown that would undoubtedly leave him heartbroken. At the most, he'd thought she would let them stay friends and partners. But it was better than that, better than he'd ever thought it could be. _She loves me._

He was filled with the overpowering urge to talk to her, to see her, to touch her. He'd known for a long time that he was in love her, but he'd never imagined that she could feel the same way. Now that she did, he wanted her more than ever; this sweet, wonderful, perfect woman. He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve to have her. She was too good for him by a long shot, but she loved him anyway.

He refolded the letter neatly along the creases and slid it back into the envelope. Placing it in the pocket of his suit jacket, he picked up the scotch and highball glass from the coffee table and took them into the kitchen. He didn't need to drink himself into a stupor tonight. The thought of her and all their newfound possibilities had more than done away with all the pain he'd been trying to numb. He placed the scotch back in the cupboard where he kept his liquor and headed off to his bedroom.

Once there, he pulled the letter out of his pocket. Opening the drawer of his nightstand, he placed it carefully inside. This was where he kept his most treasured items, all the things that held sentimental value to him. Her letter had earned its place there with the mementos that reminded him of the good times in his life.

He closed the drawer slowly, watching its contents slide out of view as he did. Heaving a happy sigh, he sat down on his bed. He leaned to his left and let his temple rest against the wall above the headboard. The coolness of the tan paint contrasted sharply with the warmth of his skin, but he didn't notice. He was lost in thoughts of Alex, of her letter, of all the potential that they had together. He had loved her for years without any idea if she felt the same. All of his time spent pining for her had ingrained into him the belief that she couldn't possibly love him back. He'd gotten used to the supposed fact that she would never look at him the way he looked at her. Now all of his perceptions were being tossed out the window, and it was the best feeling he could imagine.

He smiled to himself again. For the first time in what seemed like forever, he was truly happy. God was in His heaven and all was right with the world.


	10. Chapter 10

_Three days later…_

It was in the wee hours of Thursday morning when the soft creak of footsteps sounded through Bobby's apartment. He stirred lightly in his bed, hovering between sleep and consciousness as he half-listened for what had made the noise.

There it was again. The fog was slowly lifting from his mind as he lay there, and he strained to hear the muffled sounds coming from the hallway.

_Creak._

The door to his bedroom was sliding slowly open. Whoever was there was doing their best not to disturb him, but it was too late. He was now fully awake and listening intently to everything that was going on.

For a moment, he considered reaching for the gun that was hidden under the corner of the mattress. Before he could make a move, however, the door had opened fully and he could see someone standing there, silhouetted against the light from the hallway. A petite figure with shoulder-length hair…

"Eames?" he whispered into the half-darkness.

The figure stepped forward into the dimly lit bedroom and the lamppost outside the window illuminated her. In an instant, his suspicions were confirmed as his eyes traveled to the face he knew so well. Pulling the sheets off of himself, he sat up to face her, his feet resting on the carpet next to the bed.

Alex gave him a small smile. "Hi," she said simply. Her voice was so quiet that it barely made it across the room. She crossed the room to stand next to his bed. "I didn't mean to wake you up, but I wanted…" She trailed off for a moment. He could see her eyes shining with both emotion and the glow of the streetlamp. "I wanted to see you." She gave him a look of something like pleading. The expression on her face told him that she didn't know what else to say.

He gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile. Gently holding her wrist, he pulled her down to sit next to him on the bed. She leaned onto his shoulder and he placed an arm around her waist, resting his hand in the curve of her hip. He could feel the warmth of her tears on the bare skin of his arm mingling with the softness of her hair. He could tell that she didn't need him to say anything, so he stayed silent and simply held her while she cried.

He wanted to sit there and hold her for the rest of his life, to comfort her and dry her tears. He wanted to preserve this feeling forever, the joy that she had come back, that she had returned to him, that she needed him. He couldn't think of anything that could make him happier than simply knowing that she loved him too. He was content to simply hold her while she cried what seemed like every drop of water in her body.

After a while, her crying started to gradually subside until she had stopped altogether. She sniffed and wiped her eyes, wiping the last remnants of tears off of her face. She lifted her head to look at him through red-rimmed eyes. "Thank you," she whispered. He nodded, still not saying anything. "No one's held me like that for a long time," she said quietly, giving him a weak smile. She planted a small kiss on his cheek.

She sniffed again, trying to collect herself further before she continued talking. Lowering her head, she shifted her gaze down to the floor. "I came here tonight because I…I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry," she finished quickly.

He shot her a confused look. "For what?"

"For…abandoning you. You told me you loved me and I ran away." She looked back up at his face, staring him straight in the eye. "I'm so sorry." The shine had returned to her eyes and she looked ready to cry again.

He kissed her forehead softly. "You have nothing to apologize for," he whispered into her ear. Leaning down to catch her gaze, he smiled at her again. This seemed to cheer her up; the tears that had started to form in her eyes were now gone.

He pulled her into him and hugged her tightly. He felt her arms snake around his waist, her warm palms coming to rest on his back. The desire to hold on to her forever struck him again. He wanted nothing more at that moment than to never release her, but he relented after a few moments and let her pull herself away from him.

He smiled softly at her, letting her know without words that they were okay. His arm was still stretched across her back, his left hand coming to rest on the curve of her hip. He felt a distinct air of comfort and intimacy about the whole situation and the ease with which he could touch her. It was more right than anything he had ever felt before.

"Bobby?" Alex said quietly. Her voice was much less timid now. "Can I ask you something?"

He gave her another gentle grin. "Anything."

"When did you fall in love with me?"

He chuckled softly. "I could tell you that it was the first moment I saw you, but I'd be lying. Besides, the truth is a much better story."

He paused for a moment as he remembered. "It was the day that you found out about my mother. Most people don't know how to react to that kind of information, but you…you just stood by me. It didn't scare you off. You just supported me, and…" He trailed off for a moment before continuing. "And I just knew."

She was beaming at him. She was so beautiful when she smiled. For the third time that night, he felt like holding her until all the time in the world had run out. It didn't matter that it was 3:24 in the morning. It didn't matter that they both needed to get some sleep. It didn't matter that they would have to go back to work all too soon. It didn't even matter that he would eventually have to let her go. The warmth of her skin against his was more than enough to make him forget everything else.

For now, all he needed was this.

* * *

**A/N:** Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed! A special thank you to my beta and everyone who was so very patient while I took forever to update. :) 


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